This post contains affiliate links – if you use these I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Parenting is like a job in and of itself right? Life with an energetic toddler and sleepy, hungry newborn baby can feel overwhelming.
If I’m being honest, there’s been times where all 3 of us have been crying. Not to mention the time I was breastfeeding the baby, my little girl hurt herself so was crying and the dog was throwing up on the carpet.
Getting through the day with a toddler and baby can be hard work, at times it feels like I’m disappearing up my own exhaust pipe!
Our hearts are so full. But so are our to-do lists.
Yeah. We chose to have kids, and we chose to have them close together in ages. We’re still allowed to complain, ok?
When we announced our second pregnancy, my Step-Dad (imagine broad Australian accent) said:
“You think you’re about to get double the workload, but it’s gonna triple!”
He kinda wasn’t wrong.
Nobody tells you that, instead of the usual 20 minutes to get your toddler out of the door, you’re now planning an hour in advance just to pop to the shops. That doing a washing load every 3 days probably isn’t going to cut it anymore. Or that when both the toddler and the newborn cry, at the same time, you’re left in the middle thinking what on Earth did I sign up for.
And who the heck do I sort out first?
You learn to accept some of the chaos
I will mention here though, with the arrival of my second baby, my heart grew, my world is brighter and I’ve seen such a wonderful side to my eldest as a big sibling.
Adjusting to life with a baby and toddler takes a bit of thought and planning. Here’s what’s helping me right now. I hope it helps you too.
1. Go to bed early
Boring, I know. And sorry if the baby has you up all the hours of the day and night. You have my sympathies.
Daily life with a toddler and baby can be a bit full on. Once both have gone to bed there’s a huge temptation to enjoy the freedom, binge a show or even to just fold some laundry in peace. Of course, sometimes you have to make use of that time but try to limit what you give yourself to do in the evening.
I’ve been aiming to be in bed with the lights and screens off by 10pm.
Yup, you there, stop the scroll. Well, you can finish this post first 😉
On the health app on my phone I’ve set a reminder for 9:30pm so I start getting ready for bed.
This doesn’t always happen, especially on a weekend when hubby and I are more likely to be watching a film together. Is it just me or are films getting so looooooong now.
2. Plan your tasks ahead of time
I don’t even mean ‘on Sunday plan your entire week’. I’ve tried doing that, it does work but I change my mind about most things if I plan in too much detail in advance.
You’ll feel the benefit if in the morning you have a bit of a game plan for the day. I prefer to write it, because my brain doesn’t tend to store useful thoughts, it just has them and then *poof* gone as quickly as the thought arrived.
I actually write these in GoodNotes on my iPad now, gone are the days of having little scraps of paper everywhere.
The point of this is not to add another task to your morning routine, nor is it to get more done efficiently so you can get more done.
The point of planning your day ahead is so you can stop fighting fires and have a little more focus to the tasks you do.
3. Get help with childcare for the toddler, or baby… or both!
I really feel for Mums without a support network. I had merely a taste of this when my first baby was born in a lockdown back in 2020. #pandemicbabies
If you’re doing this alone, I’m gonna say right now, you are a SUPERHERO.
I had to put my eldest into nursery when I went back to work after maternity leave. It was so hard at the time and there have been tears from me as well as her. Now… I think I’d give up my car before I gave up nursery.
At least, life with a baby and a toddler will feel a little less chaotic, and lonely, if someone can come over for a few hours a day. Just to provide an extra pair of hands, chuck a load of washing in the machine or take the baby for a walk down the road while you tackle the toddler. Even if it’s an enthusiastic neighbour or friend you’d be surprised how many people are happy to muck in for an hour or two when you’ve got little ones.
So accept the help and go drink that tea while it’s hot!
4. Prioritise tasks by naptimes
If your toddler is still napping during the day – hooray for you!
If not, I really recommend implementing some sort of quiet time after lunch so they have time to chill on their own. Even if they choose not to lay down, it’s great for them to play on their own quietly and recharge for the rest of the day.
Some tasks aren’t easily done with an active, chatty toddler bouncing around, but can be done if your baby is settled and content to sit near you for a bit.
Which jobs you choose to get done is personal preference really. Tasks that need concentration like paying bills, online shopping or any kind of planning are good to get done in this time.
Otherwise, tasks like cleaning the bathroom or dusting are good to get done while the toddler sleeps.
This being said, I’m not advocating you filling your whole day with jobs.
If no-one said this to you yet, once the toddler sleeps you’re allowed to make a tea, sit down and play with the baby. Even better if you can get the baby to sleep as well. Just rest, Mum.
Day to day life with a baby and toddler can feel overwhelmingly busy. So don’t stress about getting it all done.
5. Baby wearing is awesome
I absolutely count a baby carrier/ sling/ wrap as an essential. If you haven’t already got one, add it to your Christmas list. Go ahead, I’ll wait here…
Maybe this point should’ve been #1. Baby wearing is a life saver, I can’t tell you how much it helps getting the toddler snacks, doing the washing up real quick, going for a pee.😳
Next level babywearing is breastfeeding your baby when they’re in the carrier. I’ve never managed it but #goals.
Ok, it’s a bit awkward kneeling down with a baby in the wrap to reach the playdoh you’ve promised you’d roll into a snake. But it helps your toddler feel included if you can give your time, and both free hands, to playing with them.
Owen practically lives in the baby carrier, and he certainly has a good nap in there most days.
I used this wrap when my babies were teeny newborns. This type is especially good if you want to put a coat on over the top or if you’re just hanging around at home.
This is my go to carrier for everything else. It’s been on tonnes of walks and trips to the shops, I take it on holiday with me, and it’s been through the wash more times than I care to count. Both kiddos have had many-a-nap in it. I’ll be quite sad when my little boy gets too big for it.
♡ Don’t forget to read up on safe baby wearing first. ♡
6. Lower the bar
You aren’t going to keep all your plates spinning all the time. Life gets in the way and the baby and toddler plates take centre stage. Limit your plates or just accept some of them need to smash from time to time.
But there’s also an art to this. If you pick your plates wisely then it really doesn’t seem that bad.
I know what bothers me. Fur on the carpet for example, and I have 2 spaniels which amounts to a LOT of fur. So I hoover a lot, I cant afford to drop that plate because it genuinely affects my mood.
You’ll notice above in the daily to do list, I have 3 priorities set out that are separate from the general to-do list. As long as I get those things done then the rest is a bonus. Sometimes it’s just one thing that I prioritise above the rest.
Get your top jobs done first as best you can. But if they don’t get done then what? Well then you try again tomorrow.
You’re doing great keeping up with the toddler’s busy life and the baby’s around the clock schedule. Give yourself grace Mummy
7. Get creative, then get a cuppa
I admit it. I give my toddler ‘important jobs’ to do to waste some time and keep her busy while I feed the baby or drink a cup of coffee while it’s still hot.
Toddlers are AWESOME, in so many ways. I mean it!
They view the world with a sense of awe and wonder that us grown ups have usually had ground out of us by now. So even the littlest task can provide lots of entertainment, learning opportunities and giggles.
Here’s a few important jobs that Jessica has done for me over the last week or so:
- Put all the washing pegs on the dog gate,
- Break up the spaghetti into a bowl ready to be cooked,
- Fill the bath ready for the baby with the shower rather than the tap,
- ‘Fold’ the baby’s muslin cloths,
- Sweeping the floor with the dustpan and brush.
Jessica gets a sense of pride in doing her bit in the house, I get a free minute where she’s not asking for a snack so I can look after Owen’s needs. Win-win-win.
Bonus Tip: Get up before your little ones…
Before you scroll past, I recommend doing this once your children are in some sort of a sleeping pattern. I started when my toddler started sleeping through the night and had some kind of predictable time that she’d wake up in the morning. I’d set my alarm half an hour to an hour before she would probably wake up.
In this time I wouldn’t get stuff done.
I’d do some yoga, or write in my journal, or read a book.
Do something for you, that fills your cup and helps you feel connected and centred before the day starts.
I’ll be going back to this when my little one has a bit more of a sleep routine, and maybe doesn’t have so many night feedings.
Finally, it won’t last forever
I keep telling myself over and over. Plus Darren keeps reminding me.
This is only temporary.
Before you know it, the baby will be 2, the toddler will be at school, and you’ll be looking back at this time saying “it wasn’t so bad after all”. Well, maybe…
What helps you to feel calm in the chaos of two little ones? Leave your tips below to help other Mamas. ♥
Feeling a little worn down by mamahood? Read this next.
