Being an empath can be both a blessing and a curse. You can’t cure it, it’s how you’re made, but you can find ways to cope with being an empath.
Do people say you’re oversensitive? Maybe you find things distressing that others shrug off in seconds. Watching the news can bring your mood crashing down or a call from a friend with their problems affects you for the rest of the day. Learning ways to cope with situations and people when you’re an empath can help you protect your precious energy for the things and people who matter to you.
Part of being an empath is feeling the emotions, both good and bad, of others. In amongst the cost of living crisis, housing crisis, financial crisis, energy crisis, climate crisis, humanitarian crisis it can feel hard to navigate what feels like a world full of stressed out people. Protecting your energy from those who are oblivious to your gift should be one of your top self care priorities.
Here’s how I protect my emotional space as an empath in the midst of family, work and life.
Am I an Empath?
Empath expert (and fellow empath), Judith Orloff, describes in tonnes of detail what it is to be an empath in her book The Empaths Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People. She also notes the difference in types of empaths. But, in short, if you can identify with some of the below you could be an empath.
- Feeling the emotions or pain of others as if it were your own.
- Find certain things hard to watch (e.g. news, horror, true crime) because you feel it too deeply.
- You suffer illness/ physical symptoms in times of stress/ conflict/ arguments.
- Drained by ‘energy vampires’ and need time alone to recover.
- Sensitive to/ easily overwhelmed by environment, noise, smells, crowds.
- You mirror others behaviours without realising.
- You’re sensitive to changes in the weather.
- As a child you were told you were over sensitive, that you needed to toughen up or to stop caring so much about other peoples problems.
- It’s easy and natural for you to consider other’s perspectives in disagreements.
How many did you identify with? What traits affect you the most?
Keep reading for how to cope as an empath. But first, let’s look at your superpower in more detail!
Superpowers of Empaths
There’s no doubt about it, the world needs more of you! You have a gift that not many people can say they have. Here are a few traits you can look out for and be proud of:
- Empaths are great listeners, often they’ll find themselves lending an ear to friends, family, co-workers. Some people feel safe around empaths and as thought they can open up about their life troubles.
- Empaths are great at, you guessed it, empathy! You can really put yourselves in other people shoes which is an amazing help for handling conflicts and resolutions.
- Intuition – some call it a gut feeling, others can feel an instinctive yes or no in their whole body. But no doubt, your intuition is stronger than most. Learn to trust that feeling and you’ll begin to feel at peace with your decisions.
- People reading – an empaths intuition often means they can spot a person with bad intentions before anyone else has any clue. Again, lean into this gift! I’ve found my first impressions are usually accurate, even if it takes weeks, months or even years for someone to show their true colours.
- Desire to help others who are in need. Because isn’t this what the world needs more of?
- Creative – often empaths are super creative beings and have a deep appreciation of beauty, nature and the flow of energy.
Accepting and loving yourself and your empathic traits is just as important as learning how to cope in life as an empath. Embrace yourself and your uniqueness and get ready for the sticky bits of being an empath. You know what’s coming next!
Burdens of Empaths
Well, as with any superpower, it comes at a cost. At the more extreme end of the scale, empaths are more likely to numb their pain and emotions with substance misuse. Here’s a few struggles that make it hard to cope sometimes as an empath.
- Sensory overload: Empaths can be much more sensitive to noises, crowds, smells, being touched and holding conversations. This can quickly feel overwhelming for an empath and lead to sensory overload. Feeling irritable, becoming withdrawn or turning to food or other habits to dull their feelings is common. Specifically for parents this can manifest in feeling ‘touched out’.
- Not having a strong sense of self: Since empaths spend a lot of time mirroring others emotions, facial expressions and even body language, this can result in not knowing who you ‘really are’. Some empaths feel as though they’re putting on an act just to fit-in in different social situations.
- Seeing the good in everyone: This can be a very good thing. Unfortunately, this means to some empaths, they can’t let go of who a person could potentially be resulting in them sticking around negativity for too long.
- Not being able to shut off from the problems around you: As a teacher and an empath, I suffered to begin with in my career. I’d take on my students problems and my co-workers problems, shoulder them all day and carry them home with me. Then I’d offload (maintaining confidentially) onto my not-in-the-slightest-bit-empath hubby who’d respond with “Stop stressing, it’s not your problem!” He has a point, but it’s hard not to absorb all those hurts and wrongdoings when it’s how you’re wired. Now though, I do at least leave them at the school gates, even if I have shouldered them all day.
☆ How to cope when you’re an Empath ☆
Here goes then, some big tips, small tips and inbetweeny-size tips to help you get through your day, protect your energy and embrace the life of an empath.
1 Most empaths find nature revitalising and rejuvenating
Your energy is precious and the more you can do to refill your cup the better you’re ready to cope with overstimulating environments. Some practices include:
- Grounding: laying down or being barefoot on grass, sand, sea and soil can help ground you, slow you down and feel calm.
- Meditate outside.
- Walk, run, exercise outdoors.
2 Take time to explore your own interests
As mentioned before, empaths have a tough time knowing who they really are. Find what truly brings you joy by trying out a plethora of activities. Don’t limit yourself on which activities to try.
Remember empath doesn’t have to mean introvert or hermit!
3 Solitude
It’s different from being lonely in that you’re choosing to be alone. Solitude for time to reflect and being in your own company can do wonders for empaths. Particularly empath parents. Since so much of your time is spent in the company of people who depend on close interaction and entertainment.
4 Boundaries:
You knew it was coming! Easier said than done, right? Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be as scary as it sounds. Switch your phone on silent and put it in the next room past a certain time of the day to reduce sensory input. When setting boundaries with people, look at your typical week, then set aside times when your friends, family and co-workers usually want to connect with you and ask questions. With friends and family, if they respect you, they’ll respect your boundaries. For co-workers, consider showing them your availability to give them the hint that you aren’t always ‘on demand’. With your children, if you set boundaries with them for quiet time and not climbing over you as they fancy, you’re setting an excellent example for them as they start to gain independence.
5 Ask yourself when stressed: “Are these my emotions, or someone else’s?”
Dr. Orloff says, if you didn’t feel this way before speaking or meeting with this person and now you have these feelings, pain or emotions then there’s a good chance you’re just absorbing them. Remove yourself from the situation when you can and try the above techniques to balance yourself again.
6 Pop them in a snow globe…
Not literally! If someone is in a flap, they’re charging about, sounding off, swearing, shouting, however they’re expressing their negative state. Then calmly, quietly, imagine they’re in a snow globe. Inside the snow globe the snow is whirling and gusting, and its howling wind and they’re still flapping around, working themselves up further. But you’re outside the snow globe, observing. The snow can’t touch you, their insults, demands or rage can’t touch you. Because the snow globe puts a barrier between you. This visualisation could help you distance yourself from their emotions, enough to save you the heartache or physical pain empaths sometimes experience during arguments.
7 Journal!
My answer to most things… Journaling! It can help you process your emotions, reflect on your day and is a great practice for mindfulness and bringing you back to centre. Read here about how to create a journaling habit that sticks, p.s. it can be applied to any habit you want to create.
Final words to my fellow Empaths
Well friend, however strong your empathic superpower, know you aren’t alone. But no-one will help you if you don’t first set your own boundaries. As with all humans, what works for us can be as unique as our fingerprints, so experiment!
Don’t forget to grab a copy of Dr. Orloff’s book, it’s full of insights and wisdom for empaths, even specifically for parents and raising empath children.
I hope this helped you gain at least one or two ways to cope as an empath and protect your energy. Have you found other things to help you? Share with a friend who needs to read these strategies, then come over to Instagram and share your empath story with me ♡
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