Today, I had a day of doing nothing; as a Mum, it feels wholly irresponsible, but why don’t we deserve the chance to recharge?
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Jessica, my 2 year old, stayed over at her Nana’s house last night. So this morning I gently (ish) woke up when my 5 month old wanted feeding. My husband had left the house to go to work 15 minutes earlier. The dogs were still snoozing in a pile next to me.
Drinking my third coffee of the morning… the weather outside looks pretty miserable. Rain, wind, cold. I never agreed with myself what I was going to do today but I had a vague idea that I needed to get a few errands done.
Safe to say they didn’t get done, not even close.
It wasn’t a conscious decision. I never thought “Today Molly, you’re doing nothing”. But that’s what happened anyway.
Of course I still have Owen with me, so I guess as a Mum, you’re never really doing nothing are you. There’s still the nursing and the burping and the bouncing to sleep and the changing and the entertaining.
There’s a stigma about “doing nothing” if you’re a Mum
Whilst I was busy bingeing YouTube videos and playing around with my oracle decks, all the while occasionally pinning on Pinterest. I thought back to one time that someone asked me “Can you imagine a life without your children?”
“Yes,” I replied, “I used to get up when I wanted, only worried about my own food and toileting needs, took a shower when I wanted, and I visited the gym when I had a spare couple of hours, the list goes on.” I was met by a stunned silence and an uncomfortable feeling. I felt the need to justify: “Of course, I’d never want to go without my children, I adore them.“
The uncomfortable air evaporated and conversation continued on.
It was the truth though.
Sometimes, I feel trapped at home by feeding schedules, nappies, potties and naptimes.
And when you spend a lot of time at home, all those errands and chores seem really important. Because it’s the world you’re in all day, every day, it just feels like a never ending cycle.
Some of the to-do’s are important, but most of them can wait while you recharge.
What if we actually did nothing?
More recently, while speaking to a friend I was telling her how guilty I feel for not doing enough. And she said to me “What if you actually did nothing?“
Well, I’d have very unhappy babies if I actually did nothing.
She’s right. All those little mundane tasks you do all day, feed, clear up, wipe bottoms, dry tears, put down to sleep, read stories, make little pretend car noises. They all add up to taking care of our children. And that’s the most important job of all.
I’m gonna keep telling myself that it’s okay that I’ve “done nothing” today. I can already feel the guilt setting in.
When did you last have a day of “doing nothing”? Did you feel guilty? Let me know below ♡